Maybe it's just my being a grammar nazi... But I find stories/articles much easier to read if they have proper capitalization. I don't mean to be a dick in saying so, I just figured it's better you hear it here where your asking for critics then elsewhere IRL.

EDIT: Didn't realize we had language filters on so I editted accordingly.

The day when nobody comes back from a war it will be because the war has at last been properly organized.
--Thomas Vian